"Don't stay in a relationship without love,"

"Don't stay in a relationship without love," the Toyota ad said on the TV. Dido shook Dave awake. "Do you agree?" she asked. "Yes," he replied, "and no." Dido nodded her head. "As

decisive as ever. Just know that I am in love with my 2010 Prius Liftback." Watching so much TV turned Dido into a product sponge. Dave didn't mind; Toyota was a fine manufacturer

of cars as long as you didn't care about brakes. Dave had a reckless fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants outlook on life. Dido said, "We've soaked up so many ads, you couldn't Prius away

Hercules's club." Dave hated Dido's constant Olympian God name dropping. Dave had worked to his position by growing his Wendy's restaurant into an international fast food chain.

Wendy went on to be a vegetarian, knowing the burgers were not all natural. This prompted Dave to offer salads, but Wendy wouldn't touch those either. She cooked for herself daily.

Wendy, tired of being tied to fast food, changed her name and started a chain of "Artisinal Haute Cuisine Vegan Eateries," called Wendigo's.

power it up you must gesticulate in order to get it's battery full. Once that is done you can order your "vegan" meal. When it arrives you

can feed it to the livestock, then wait until they are ready to be humanely slaughtered. You, of course, will starve before that happens, in which case your ghost can contact our

afterlife hotline for assistance at 1-800-DEADNOW. All starving ghosts are welcome, so call today. Operators are standing BOO!