"Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" yelled Santa

"Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!" yelled Santa Pirate. "Death from on high!" He launched a tactical nuclear missile from a robotic reindeer drone. The ExFed truck deployed anti-air

lasers which annihilated the terrestrial atmosphere. Life was extinguished save for simple aquatic organisms. Ten thousand millennia later, the first of the new land animals

The meta-sea-monkeys hid the cloudy jars of their dreaming ancestors in secret caves around the world, then set out for the stars, hoping for a galactic meet-and-greet. The veils o

gratin was a kind of slimy cheese and potato dish served in a tavern that never closed. This is where the jar of meta-sea-monkeys ended up after the disgusting story I'm about to t

-ake to my grave. Suffice it to say that the meta-sea-monkeys grew a hundred times their size on the nuclear au gratin and terrorized the planet even though they were 4 inches tall

And my town was no exception. It was frightening to witness such ignorance among the sheeple. This was three years later, and by then it was too late. The villagers rioted until

they forgot what they were rioting about. "Meh", said one sheeple. *This is too much bother." The sheeple's loot was a new flat screen TV and a pair of shearers

The latter of which was stuck in a drawer for safekeeping and stayed there until the next thaw when the roses needed pruning. The brand new TV kept the sheeple company during

The late Sheeple fest where the roses that were pruned were worn as a fancy headdress. People brought the Sheeple offerings of woven bug wing dresses & danced gaily about them.