I'm Voldemort, and I approved this message.

I'm Voldemort, and I approved this message. The announcer began, "Albus Dumbledore says he does it all for the children. But let's look at the record. Three times in the last year

use duct tape to keep them still long enough to learn. Why, that duct tape salesman was here just the other day, giving us nice discounts. I put the phone number

on a sock using something I found in the toilet for ink, then duct taped them into their mouths. "You see? This is what happens when you call filthy trollops using iPhones I paid

for." Somehow he was able to spit out the fecal-smelling sock from his mouth. He spit in his tormentor's face, and said, "

Pain doesn't bother me until it hurts!" The tormentor blinked like a Rhino. Then giggled. Once. Came at him. Then giggled again. Then he burst out laughing, the tormentor had never

seen soemone who could instantly make themselves look like a random Disney character. Are you a man or a Mickey he cried. Show me your

buttons! (It's a little known fact that the buttons on Mickey's pants are not to hold them up, but to allow him to shape-shift. He's only Mickey when he's not being goofy.)

I mean, have you ever seen Mickey and Goofy in the same scene together? Minnie was starting to figure this out, and she began to investigate. When she got hold of the buttons, she

pressed them and vamoosha! All the pieces of the puzzle fit together. "I know what you and Goofy did Mickey! You merged yourself together to create this! I'll get you fired!"