I was following the directions, but something

I was following the directions, but something wasn't right. I turned the car left down a bumpy dirt road and rolled slowly passed a half eaten animal carcass the size of a boulder.

The GPS remained confident. "Turn left after the half eaten animal carcass. 200 ft to grizzled man warning you to turn back. 3 miles to buzzards overhead and your destination."

We arrived about noon. The whole place smelled like pussy that had been left in the sun to rot. I armed my T-shirt cannon and combed my fucking awesome '80s rock star hair, waiting

for the cat lady to return. We waited & waited. I had time to respray my f%cking awesome do and practice a few poses. But the cat lady wore plush soled loafers & returned silently

"I told you not to give the cat anymore LSD!", I yelled to my "enlightened" brother sitting on the porch swing. I watched as Mittens twisted and turned and tripped absolute balls

whilst he laughed uncontrollably at her antics, very probably in a hallucinatory state himself. I tried to reason with him. Hippies, for heaven's sake!

They were all about peace and love and whatnot, but wasn't showing peace and love all about listening to somebody who was talking to them. The hippie continued to laugh and what I

gathered was that he must be stoned. "Doritos?" I offered him mine to, you know, show love and all that. He ate the whole bag & that was fine because in the meantime, I got to know

the real reason why he was so hungry. But then I decided to keep this to myself and to continue the way I started. Que sera, sera.