It was only when I woke up that I realised

It was only when I woke up that I realised that not was all that it seemed. 2 mins and 17 secs had passed and for what?

I had not managed to brush my hair and my skirt was still on the floor.

the explosion that rocked my house had impaired my ability to get dressed by charring all of my clothes beyond recognition. a quick reconnoiter was in order, so i gathered up a

a slightly charred pair of used popeye underwear and draped the firetrap around my shoulders and gingerly exited through the shattered window. headcheese and malic acid are an ex

port total zero. You couldn't pay other countries to take that crap off your hands. Doug was the regional sales rep for headcheese and malic acid, which basically meant that

Patti Mayonnaise would never love Doug. Being lactose intolerant, Doug's involvement in cheese-making was a constant frustration. So one night Patti hooked up with Skeeter just to

enjoy having pizza with extra cheese with some hot guy. But Skeeter's future was thin, and Patti never saw them together. Even so, Doug recoiled from Patti in lactose-intolerant

yet cheesy motions. Doug was saving his Supreme future prospects for someone else. "Can I have the other half of your pie?" Patti asked, foreshadowing their future divorce court

so I ATE the pie