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"Amanda Widdershins, you are free to go."

  • "Amanda Widdershins, you are free to go." Hah, she thought, on a white plastic chair with metal legs. What friends did she have in this city of concrete and asphalt and glass? Not

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  • that she needed friends but those she could take her time killing if she had to. Won't that be a friendly surprise. At the moment she needed one & she didn't have one. So the next

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  • best thing was to make a new friend. Where did one find new friends in this city of the dead? I headed down to the nearest morgue. It was closer than I had thought & I was right.

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  • The air of desperation was palpable. Within seconds I was surrounded by the undead denizens of the morgue and within minutes my datebook was filled with engagements until next May.

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  • How could I have known that I would find the sense of community and acceptance I had been searching for in of all places, the morgue. Just wait until I told those idiots over at

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  • the nursing home. Those same idiots who kept telling me to take my pills, watch my blood pressure & blahblahblahblahblah. These people - here at the morgue - were like me: quiet.

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  • They get me, they really do. And the morgue is so serene. I like to lie down on an embalming table and just soak in the cool silence. It is a good place for a nap. The metal is so

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  • jarring at first but then it becomes oddly refreshing. What's more refreshing is that dead people don't feel the need to talk all the time. Not that I don't sometimes imagine them

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  • Doing like the Grateful Dead did when celebrating the Solstices. The Deadheads were oblivious to the fact Jerry Garcia was actually dead. He made a great vampire, though!

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  • Ben and Jerry's are even making a new ice cream flavor for him, calling it Cherry Garcia with fangs *includes tiny bits of real fang!* Early reviews aren't looking good, however.

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