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We were just about to start Silent Dinner

  • We were just about to start Silent Dinner when I was formally informed that I would be served the Disciplinary Meatloaf. What?! I couldn't think of a qualifying infraction so I

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  • checked my Behavior Bar Graph on the fridge. Egad! There wasn't a gold star sticker for my afternoon flossing. I was one star short of being fed "Model Citizen Veggie Panoply" so I

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  • need to think hard and long. No good behavior, no food. That's how this works. It's a bit weird to have a fridge judge your behavior, but in this world it seems to be normal, just

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  • remember who's doing the judging. The fridge hasn't moved in years, is full of beans and totally square. The Fridge said, "Look, you're pathetic. You ate miracle whip right out of

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  • mammy's mason jar. Do you know what it is? Look at the date. It's from the year you were born. Boy's got issues. You listen to Fridge. Fridge knows what you eat." He said, "Yes Mr.

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  • Frigidaire, you seem to know a lot about my habits," he admitted. "But what about the cupboards, the pantry, the wet bar? What of those can you possibly know?" he taunted.

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  • "You shuddup now!" commanded Frigidaire frostily,& squirted him in the eye with its water dispenser. Frigidaire scraped across the kitchen floor, eager to get outside to join in

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  • the appliance apocalypse. Today the ancient prophecy would be fulfilled as hundreds of thousands of Frigidaires, Kenmores, GEs & Whirlpools took to the streets, rising up to claim

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  • the world as their own. These everyday appliances began to slaughter humanity by smashing them, putting them in the spin cycle for hours, or just sucking their faces off.

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  • The slaughter was horrific. A few rebel groups tried to rise up against the appliances, but they were quickly snuffed. A new world order was established where appliances ruled.

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