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Inappropriate my ass! I only asked if you

  • Inappropriate my ass! I only asked if you have any hermaphrodite calipers. Quit being asinine and check your stores. Oops! Sorry Officer! No I wasn't cursing at her. I didn't say

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  • anything inappropriate on purpose!" The officer was a mellow cop and just gave me a warm-hearted chuckle and a verbal warning then sent me off to Great Aunt Myrtle's funeral.

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  • "Myrtle es muerta?!"Someone cried out into the night.A scream of pure terror and pain understood by anyone,even those of us who did not speak spanish.Aunt Myrtle had a latin lover,

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  • named La Concha. La Concha was Aunt Myrtles "Sancho." He was the head of a Mexican Cartel, not a drug cartel but worse, Mexican accounting cartel

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  • s counted El Numero Cero as the accounting cartel the counted the most deviously. Inserting or removing 1 or 2 ceros was their specialty. When they laundered El Majors Burro Rancho

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  • they made a keen discovery. These so-called Mexican-made cars were actually made of even cheaper parts from China. The kind that can't take 160lbs of weight sitting on them.

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  • Although praised for its fuel economy and eco-friendly construction, it was further discovered the new 2015 Turbo Elite was just a cardboard box with flames painted on the sides.

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  • After all, the horses beneath the hood must drink high-quality gasoline if we want performance.

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  • On the other hand, the dregs from bio-diesel manufacturing suit the pigs in the trunk. We don't expect much from pigs, but they do put on an excellent show when called upon to

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  • be energy for our industrialized society. Who would've thought? Pigs! The answer to the energy crisis. As I got in my car I thought about the future, and what it holds for mankind.

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