The black cat was a poor substitute for a
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The black cat was a poor substitute for a broom or a wand, but you worked with what you had. A few magic words and a good lob later, the cat was doing the work of a fireball.
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Anyways, that was what the writer on Charmed had pitched the Bald Bearded producer. The producer snapped his fingers and a trap door opened beneath the writer, and
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started humming John Mellencamp tunes to himself, not caring that 1) he was out of tune, or 2) that he was annoying anyone within ear shot. That's what it meant to have power and
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a complete disregard for human life. I guess it was better than the day that he sang all his replies to every question lobbed at him. His humming was bad, but his singing was
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eye-gougingly bad. Why he would sing the answers to every question posed no one ever knew. Perhaps it was because
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as a child, his parents locked him in his squalid bedroom with "The Sound of Music" on a continuous loop. When asked how old he was he trilled: "I am sixteen, going on
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seventeen...I'll take care of you. He drew a small pistol from his skirt and shot Rolf, Liesl, and Countess point blank. "Adieu, Adieu, to you and you and you!" Then he twirled and
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winked at the cute little puppy at the top of the stairs. "I do have room for something new in my life," he smiled. "After all," he flourished at the bleeding bodies, "they're all
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really pretty." So he grabbed the nearest one and told her, "Go back in the kitchen and make me a sammich."
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Dutifully, beautifully, she obeyed. The "sammich" would be a work of art -- egg salad on rye with earth worms, crushed glass, & menstrual blood.
4
- Started
- 2010-12-12 20:19:06
- Finished
- 2011-01-04 22:18:03
11 Comments
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NixonBlack Jan 04 2011 @ 22:29
That one was pretty awesome all the way through.
kyerinn Jan 05 2011 @ 13:28
I agree, though Euphorium's ending mack me wince! Colorful and descriptive.
NixonBlack Jan 05 2011 @ 14:16
Yeah, it was pretty brutal.
Euphorium Jan 05 2011 @ 16:54
Thank you?
NixonBlack Jan 05 2011 @ 17:00
You're welcome :) I thought it brought things to a surprisingly nice (though grotesque and somewhat nauseating) close.
Euphorium Jan 05 2011 @ 17:16
You rock, NixonBlack!
kyerinn Jan 06 2011 @ 13:40
I agree. NixonBlack does rock. *nod*
NixonBlack Jan 06 2011 @ 13:45
haha, no, you guys rock. Most of the stories here would still be open, and many presumably unsalvageable, without you. :)
RhettOracle Jan 06 2011 @ 16:49
Alright, the love fest has gotta end. :) Although, I do love the piercing wit of each of you.
kyerinn Jan 06 2011 @ 18:07
Agreed! Oh wait, the love fest is supposed to end, eh? ;P
Euphorium Jan 06 2011 @ 19:23
love festers.