Most pirates had a parrot, he had a cat.

  • Most pirates had a parrot, he had a cat. It perched on his shoulder with its tail brushing his upper lip giving the impression of a mustache. Especially helpful in combat, it would

  • jump off his shoulder and stealthy inject poison from its claws in every pirate who dared to

  • -m Cruise to fight Mitt Romney in a fake rich man's laughing contest. Although the pirates would die, this contest would be worth it. So they prepared a

  • hash pizza for the contest, but it never got there because they ate it all and got high. Then they laughed their asses off at the thought of Mitt Romney becoming President.

  • Of course that never happened and the election was stolen outright. In 2016, they got high and pondered whether her majesty was going to get away with murder. It looked like she

  • could, but no she didn't. It turned out she never tried to murder anyone or even cheat anyone, or fondle anyone, sure she played hardball when she had to but she lost. The winner

  • took his hardball and went home victorious. She stood there in the street, silently clenching and unclenching her fists. Finally she went back to her old job as a waitress at the

  • Do Drop Out. She was behind the register because she'd lost her skating cred but she still kept her toe in. If you needed backup and drank Maker's Mark, she was a friend. Tonight,

  • she was definetly a friend. Maker's Mark always gave me the hiccups, but she thought it was cute. I took off my skates, and leaned in for a kiss. she leaned in as well and was just

  • closing the last inch as an 8 year old at top speed took her out at the knees. I don't know why I thought a kiss on moving shoes would be smart. She didn't make it. severed spine.



  1. LordVacuity Aug 09 2017 @ 21:58

    I decided to not post what I first wrote in this comment.

  2. LordVacuity Aug 09 2017 @ 21:59

    My first comment speaks for itself.

  3. Woab Aug 10 2017 @ 15:50

    You don't even have a spine. You're an Easter Island Head. No worries.

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