When she moved into her latest apartment,

  • When she moved into her latest apartment, she found a light switch in the kitchen which didn't seem to be connected to anything. Every so often, she would flip it. After two weeks,

  • he pillow was so nice and cold on the other side. It was like putting your head on cool breeze from heaven. But then, the side would heat up in like minutes and she'd have to flip

  • me the bird when I asked her for the upteenth time to turn over my pillow. Unfortunately for her, I had a low threshold for insolence, so I

  • immediately broke into tears. She tried to calm me down, but I just wouldn't have it. At long last she gave up and continued to turn my pillow over for the rest of the night.

  • The morning after, I had a patch of mildew on my right cheek and tender lumps of fungus on my scalp, but I felt purged and surprisingly cheerful. Even my co-workers commented

  • that the new look was a notable improvement for me. And I frankly had to agree. Unlike my old, somewhat disturbing excuse for a toupee, the fungus managed to be both

  • stylish and versatile. I could even wear it in the pool! It really turned my life around, things at work improved, my love life improved... the only drawback was the voices that I

  • had been trying so desperately to ignore much like one tries to ignore the annoying voice of Richard Simmons. I sighed. I know I should listen to

  • him. So I surfed over the tropical waves & watched this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTxkxG3DF4k & after some strenuuos laugh calisthenics I had six pack abbs & a strange desire

  • to pet a ton of kitties but when I got to the pet show I realized that I didnt have no arms due to the shark that attacked me while surfing. I damned you Based god! :(



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