This new art app is just a reminder people

This new art app is just a reminder people are too lazy for words. They only want pictures. I have no talent. I just blew seven dollars on making myself miserable all over again.

"Misery? There's an app for that!" The TV had my attention. "Dance around like a pink silhouette in no time with the App Recycler, the app that turns art apps into useful ones like

can shatter your loved ones' skulls with the Porcelain Head app. In the same vein, Slo-Mo Headshot is a steal today only for $.99!" A warning said that he was now on the terrorist

watch list. "Fine, fine, whatever." He said aloud. "Dumbasses can't find me here anyway." He looked over in the mirror and sneered. Then he noticed. "Hey, what's that red dot on my

forehe-" and BOOM he was dead, shot right between the eyes by a random dumbass he'd not anticipated: Ned, across the street in 3A. Ned had been using the laser sight on his Beretta

Dumbass Shooter. The gun had been crafted by a man named Chet, with a flat top. He'd created a weapon that used dumbasses as ammunition. Ned carried his gun in a camo

mile macrame holster. Ned wasn't just a dumbass shooter, he was a herbalist gunslinger. He lubricated the chambers with lavender honey bee's wax. Hempville called in Ned Nasturtium

Hempville told Ned Nasturtium he needed to shape up on his shooting. Ned kicked him and ran out laughing.

That was Ned's solution for everything. Kicking, running, and laughing. He did it until the day he died. A greater man has never lived. He's kicking angels now.