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"Snap." The pencil tip broke. She clicked

  • "Snap." The pencil tip broke. She clicked to bring down more lead. "Snap." She cursed under breath. "Hold on," she muttered into the phone. "I'll be

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  • right back with a working pen - once I get out of the '80s." She laughed, but no one used mechanical pencils anymore. There could only be one explantion: she had gone back in time.

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  • I flipped a twentieth century penny at her, hoping to send her back Christopher Reeves style from Somewhere in Time. She put a hand up and it stopped mid-air. "Reeves was a pussy!"

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  • And the howling wind rushed in. A blur swooped. She was 1 mile off the ground, held onto by Reeve's teeth. He was flying, dressed like superman with a cape on his wheelchair. They

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  • flew over Metropolis, until they reached the Hall of Justice. Suddenly, Christopher Reeve opened his teeth, losing his hold on her blouse. She plummeted toward the reflecting pool.

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  • Fortunately Lois was captain of her diving team in high school and performed a front three-and-a-half pike with hardly a splash upon entry. Superman was impressed and flew down to

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  • congratulate her. The impact of his cape caused a tsunami and sent Lois further out to sea. Aquaman rushed out of his secret enclave. "Finally, I can be helpful!" He called his

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  • testicles Jerry and Jimbo, but that's beside the point. Aquaman rushed out to help Lois in such a harried frenzy that he forgot

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  • that he really didn't have any abilities to help her with. He was quickly beaten in hand to hand combat while the fish he had called upon were flopping around dying miles away.

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  • This performance would not endear him to the flight crew on the trip home; in fact, he ran the distinct risk of provoking a spontaneous defenestration at 29,000 feet, chuteless.

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