"Ash, you moron," said Pikachu, "all these

  • "Ash, you moron," said Pikachu, "all these years and you still haven't figured out my true identity." Pikachu then unzipped a zipper in his back and revealed himself to be

  • a tree-huggin hippie. "Dig it?" asked Pikachu as he lit a joint and started poofing. "Far out, man.. Groovin' far out. Radical. Whoaaaa.." Ash blinked and stared in disbelief, as

  • Pikachu tied a headband around his pointy ears and said, "Hey maaaan, we're going to my pad to bake some Alice B. Toklas brownies man." Ash was drafted for Vietnam so he

  • immediately snapped out of it and tried to think clearly. What if I ran to Canada? Completely forgetting, of course that Picachu had already anhiliated them. Back to square one,

  • I took out my pocket knife, a piece of lint, two paper clips, a bent staple, the crumbs from the tip of a graphite #2 pencil, a single hair and assembled them into

  • a miniature working harpsicord. I then attempted to be a street musician but no one would hear me because it played at such high frequencies. Determined, I joined a

  • human's genetic code with that of my dog, Muffin, to create a man with the increased senses of hearing and smell that a dog has. It was a success! Finally, someone would appreciate

  • all my lifes work! Muffin would be so proud, what kind of name is Muffin anyways? So glad I shoved that dog into a wood chipper! I could have just taken some blood for the DNA but

  • the police already had it and arrested me on charged for animal abuse." I shut the diary there, my face furrowed with contempt for its author. Oh no...that could only mean my pet

  • parrot had been making crank calls again.



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