However many times he tried, Juan could not

However many times he tried, Juan could not seem to pull it off...

I don't think that's the goal of self-pleasure, Juan.

Juan glared, disapproving of me, "what do you mean that isn't the goal of self-pleasure?" Juan continued glaring like I had offended him.

Punching him in the nuts offended him even more. "Well, that sure felt good. Maybe you're on to something there Juan old pal." I said. It was hard to hear his reply through his sob

, but then he quavered,"These nuts are a puh-puh-precious fuh-fuh-family heirloooom." "Well make some cashew butter or something" I replied,annoyed."Jeesh,I only lightly grazed em!

" To prove it, I tasted one. It was so salty I made a face. The upset man said, "See? My nuts will never be the same!" :Maybe it's time you branched out. Pine nuts, maybe?"

my application to be finished. Clearly, this douchebag was trying to stall me.

So I ran passed him to try to turn my application in, he chased me into the bathroom, cornered me in a stall. This bastard was LITERALLY stalling me now. How could I

get outta here? I cut dismembered myself & flushed myself down the toilet, coming back together in the bosses office when I came through the drain & turned my app in & got the job.