Nigel was beside himself as he watched CNN.

Nigel was beside himself as he watched CNN. A teabag on a hatbrim had been the secret sign of being an expat, but now these rubess had taken it, like metrosexuals with left earring

diamond studs and crew cuts with extremely-jelled bangs. The kind of guy that wore Bugle Boy jeans. He thought of Terrence. That night in the sauna. He must never let himself be

seduced like that again. He had made a terrible mistake, an unspeakable sin. Yett he couldn't stop thinking about Terrence and his enourmous

wooden Totem pole that he recently acquired from the Aztecs. Such a marvelous treasure, so seductive in it's value and beauty. No way could he have

left it unguarded, thought Richard. He had never stolen anything before, but there was a first time for everything, and this priceless treasure seemed a good place to start.

A book on forbidden secrets. Alchemy, magic, the formula for eternal youth. Priceless knowledge, to Richard a treasure beyond his wildest dreams.

He opened the tome, full of ancient mystery. The power of the cosmos was in Richard's grasp. His wife could be saved. His son would live. "Horcrux!" Harry yelped, stabbing the book

but this being no ordinary book, it stabbed right back at harry, catching him in the throat, with a swish of its deadly pages harrys head tumbled towards the floor, his blood began

to stain the hardwood floor. His last thought was that they would be ruined and he'd just had them installed last spring after watching one too many home decorating shows on HGTV.

As his blood drained from his body, his gaze moved from the hardwood floor to the hideous wallpaper. "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do," he muttered, amusing only himself.