I smelled him burning before I heard him

I smelled him burning before I heard him pounding on the oven door. Whoops! Forgot to set the timer! Smoke filled the room as I rushed to the stove. Oven mitts, oven mitts, where

are you? Finally I used a fireplace poker. The little guy fell onto the oven window. I poked his belly, which crunched into ash. He glared at me. "Behold, I am become Death, des

tined for eternity, for is not death an immortality? I shall be transmuted in the cycle of souls and made whole once more!" Karma returned him and he found himself holding a poker.

He looked and the poker had small pieces of flesh and bone on it. He vaguely remembered last night. The gas tank was empty in his car, the lights were on in his bathroom, Karma

Was still asleep in the bathtub where we had chained him up. There was Cheez Whiz™ all over the cracked radiator beneath the window where Tina's ass was hanging out of giving the

street below a chocolate fondue. Wes was watering wisterias when we witnessed what was worming westwards while weighing one's whims. Naturally, we torched the high-rise. It was the

only alphabetical thing to do, at the time. Wes and Xavier were the only ones living in the high-rise, at the time, ever since the Great Floods had reduced it to only penthouses,

& what amazing penthouses they were. Wes & Xavier could sit on their roof & watch surfers hang ten, & down on their first-floor bedrooms, they could watch Great Whites eat surfers

Life was going along quite swimmingly for Wes & Xavier. Thenone day, a homemade submarine crashed through the 1st floor's living room window. Out crawled a crew of Pasadena ladies.