I was at a fork in the road. I had to decide

I was at a fork in the road. I had to decide whether I wanted to pursue a career in poetry or professional wrestling. On the one hand, professional wrestling would allow me to

be close to hairy, sweaty, muscular men nearly all times of the day, something that writing could never bring me. Mulling this over I remembered the famous lines of Willy Wonka:

"You get NOTHING! You lose! Good day, sir!" It didnt' make me feel any better about being surrounded by some of the wettest, ugliest men I had ever seen. But I toiled away at

perming their unruly pubic hair. After all, these were some of the highest paid pube models this side of Budapest. With hair dryer and comb in hand, I started at the end of the row

and three days later, all of the customers had been served. I was near to collapsing from physical and mental exhaustion, but I still couldn't go home. Someone had to sweep up all

garbage and shit littering my front yard. So I called my boyfriend with the excuse that he would get laid once finished the job.

But that was inexcusable and wrong for me to do. So I changed my mind and got out in my yard and finished the job myself. I then went back inside and continued watching

barney for the rest of the night, then i had a dream barney attacked me and i woke up screaming so the next morning i

took all of my barney clothes, memoborila, and toys and burned them in a huge bonfire. Barney no longer existed in my life and it felt great. My new fav cartroon character is

MOJO JOJO from the Powder Puff girls. He had taught me to get rid of the things so I could grow up. I drew in a breath as I yelled out, "ROLL TIDE!"