It was a gay joy. Just divine and absolutely

It was a gay joy. Just divine and absolutely fabulous. We held hand in hand gazing at the round rainbow's curve, so tremendously endowed, it was.

be Jordan Catalano. I didn't wear jeans, I had no plaid shirt tied around my waist. No, I was a mid-nineties irony-loving white kid trapped in the body of an African American Stock

ley Park open air resident. I woke under a makeshift lean to on the banks of a lake. I had no idea where I was. Then Steve Jobs appeared floating over the lake. "Change is good!"

His complexion changed along a continuum of bright colors, happy tones that made one forget reason and buy anything available. Steve Jobs descended onto the lake shore. I stood up

And welcomed him to Utopia. All creatures used Macs - including turtles, cats, dogs and cows. Steve Jobs was very pleased to know not just humans used his invention. The animals

loved to use iPads the most.

He would put an iPad under each armpit to absorb the moisture that they would emit whenever he spotted a Pokemon. The iPads did little to help, but they made him feel so important

to be so physical with high technology. He planned on breaking that USB port in and out and in and out and in and outside the moisture was building up. The iPads were failing even

though they were powered by Testosterone Batteries, and the USB ports weren't broken in, they were just flat out broken by all of the lubeless in and out SCIENCE FRICTION!