My stubborn independence wasn't safe here.

My stubborn independence wasn't safe here. Reality hires too many impetuses of change to plot against me (stimuli, my ex, etc.). I curled up in a box with my cat, Li'l Schrödy, and

a block of sharp cheddar cheese, because, well you just never know. My cat and Li'l Schrödy slept on the left side of the box and I slept on the right. The cheese, that yellow bast

ion of milky goodness stood guard over our little sleeping forms. In the morning, my cat, Li'l Schrody and I were accompanied by our burly cheese bodyguard into the dangerous arena

of mortal cheese combat. Over ripe brie flowed in the arena maze. The feta breath of the hard cheeses was over powering. A hearty Gloucester challenged us. Shrody played dead and I

Actually passed out from the smell. I watched in horror as Shrody twitched and

Screamed in pain. He sneezed thirty times, all over us. "Bless you!", we said in unison.

"Did you hear that? That sounded like 30 pieces of silver". The congregation had heard it but most insisted they hadn't. In their minds they were working out what it meant. Sadness

reigned over the congregation. They had realised. He was a traitor! How could he do such a thing!

He laughed at their naivete & twiddled his mustache like the old-timey villain he was. "And now, you may hand over all the money & jewelry you've got in the offering plates."

"Never!!" I responded. I couldn't give in. One by one, I poured all the contents of the offering plates down my throat. I knew my eating contest days would come in handy.