Jenna pulled the cookies out of the oven.

Jenna pulled the cookies out of the oven. "umm yummy" she said "look at these tommy" she called as tommy her son ran into the kitchen.

Tommy ran in to the kitchen "awesome mum" he exclaimed "they look great" he said smiling maliciously. "if they dissappear suddenly it wasnt me"

hopped to the kitchen table and snatched the snickerdoodles. Stuffing them into his red cap, he jumped out the window. "But Mom!" Tommy whined, "It was the Cookie Gremlin!" "Really

Tommy? The fucking cookie gremlin ate our snickerdoodles?" Mom smacked Tommy hard across the face so that his lip swelled up. That would teach that obnoxious crotch dropping who

would eventually become Tommy Matola, rising to the titanic record Gremlin who got his revenge on his violent mother by releasing huge amounts of

faux Tom Jones recordings that were really just auto-tuned white noise with a little night music mixed in.

Luckily the little night music was that by Mozart, and you could barely hear Tom Jones' futile attempts to outshout it. "This is bad yoga," I thought as a tried to remove my legs

from Mr Golightly's neck. The yoga sensei told us to break the Double Happy Gerbil pose as Mr Golightly was turning blue. Suddenly, 'It's Not Unusual' came belting out in stereo. D

epeche Mode had arrived (after David's tragic savaging by a turboTom Jones had replaced him), a cloud of synth &depression in tow. Mr. Golightly gasping for air to the beat.