"Jump", the old man yelled to his grandson,

"Jump", the old man yelled to his grandson, who was standing on the edge of the pool with a big question mark on his face. He sighed: "Please do not tell me you have the same weak

cowardly heart as your father.`` Exasperated, the old man finally shoved the frightened youngster into the tepid waters with the business end of his cane. ``You`ll learn to swim

with with the crabs. The seafloor was roiling in writhing, teeming, gleaming heaps of hungry rock crabs, climbing, pushing, fighting over each other for his plump white

socks. The crabs especially liked the older socks, ones which had clearly been worn many times, and not always been washed between each wear. In the midst of the turmoil, however

the crabs began to throw the filthy socks at me. I felt hosed.

So I got RID of them.

Lye, hydrogen peroxide, a hacksaw and a plunger (just in case). I saw them in her bag and before all the excitement and thought, "hey, must be fate." Two hours later, the bathroom

"You only live once, right?" and slicked my hair back. Once you got past the stench and insanity, she really was quite the looker. I hastily wrote out my number but was interrupted

by the sound of the Doomsday Machine going off. And then, our world faded to black.