Where the hell are they? The muddy water

Where the hell are they? The muddy water blurred my vision and my gills were clogging up with river sludge. They are lucky it's not a Tuesday or I would eat their livers just for

forgetting to clean my bowl. Once I grew large enough. And became carnivorous. I swam toward the surface to get out of the sludge, but it was even thicker there.

I also found a delightful treat just below the sludgy surface of my glassy abode: dangling legs, splashing arms...and a torso! My favorite thing was

I just had to get one. "How much for the octopus in the window?" "It is not for sale," replied the proprietor. But its slit eyes were pleading to me, I must help it escape.

Pretended to be interested in some neon betas and while the pet shop owner fished them out of the tank I undid the latch to the giant octopus aquarium. Sucker!

Ever so stealthily I eased my arm into the water & let the giant octopus work it's way up my arm, down my back & into my pants. With a bit of a waddle I exited the pet shop quickly

I named Horus because he had a very psychic look in his eyes. I started to grow tentacles soon afterwards and trimmed the nails. How was I going to go to the office without scaring

the bejeezus out of my coworkers? Everyone at Jumpin' Jiminy Enterprises had been hired for their excessive bejeezus, but we were all spineless cowards. My terrifying new tentacles

made me feel otherwise, however. Especially when I was out with Wanda. I squeezed the bejesus outta her until she went limp in my arms.