He joined Twitter so he could follow the

He joined Twitter so he could follow the lives of his favourite celebrities. The problem was, he followed so many, that

as he sat in his dirty bedroom staring at the computer screen he realised he had spent the last three years

on his computer playing games and having no social life. When he looked out side the window, he saw something strange. Nothing like the boy had ever seen before! He saw...

two Mormons doing naked push ups while a large Polish woman draped homemade sour krout on their chests. Then David Hasselhoff skidded up on a trike and said, "Gleeming the cube

was way underrated. It turned out, the Polish woman laced the Reuben sandwiches with angel dust. It was the sort of thing she did to Mormons who arrived on her steps. Hasselhoff

practice polygamy, believe in exaltation, and move to Utah. That's what Mormons do.

Or that's what we're led to believe Mormons do.

I put the fez back on my head and walked back out to the parking lot. I peeled the "Romney 2012" sticker from the Civic and dropped it on the ground. My heart was broken, and

There wasn't much I could do but wander to my car and slump into the driver's seat. What is one to do when their favorite oily-haired Mormon betrays them? I stared off into space.