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She has 40-watt-a-pointing-you-know-what's.

  • She has 40-watt-a-pointing-you-know-what's. She has hung lips and thinks that cotton probably shouldn't be
  • eaten except in candy form, a good thought. I imagined the Hooters waitress's thoughts at every Happy Hour, imagining her smarter each week until her wits-to-tits ratio exceeded 1.
  • She was the only Hooters waitress with only 1 tit, so she was easy to identify during happy hour. Her roving right tit had left home and was holed up in a village in Catalonia with
  • Ernesto, her cousin who had only 1 ball. Ernesto had an unfortunate accident with a pitchfork as a lad. Ernesto also had only 1 eye, 1 arm, and 1 leg. He compensated by
  • laying in bed and watching television every day because he couldn't afford prosthetics. She told me that every night he would scream "Pitchfork! Testicle!!!" in his sleep and
  • then wake up, terrified, until she rubbed his crotch to comfort him back to sleep. Once, just as a joke, she bought him a pitchfork for his birthday. He ran screaming from the room
  • as the pitchfork brought back horrific memories of the Burnings that he had witnessed as a teen. Three of his high-school buddies had been pitched into the blaze for being talented
  • which was a quaint way of saying they were Friends of Dorothy. They would have been Friends of Declan if they had known him before the Vivienne debacle but, alas, they never got
  • invited to those sorts of things. Dejectedly, they wended their way down the sad, wet streets, singing songs of which they only knew the first four words. Enraged hookers threw
  • their lipstick at the solemn procession. The town could hear the distant echo of them singing as they walked the cold streets. They were repeating four words: "I dreamed a dream."
Started
2013-11-10 14:06:01
Finished
2016-07-22 15:10:03

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Jesrin Jul 22 2016 @ 15:12

    Somehow, nearly three years later, we made it back to hookers. Guess we've come full circle.
  2. Avatar

    Woab Jul 22 2016 @ 15:29

    Great last line, Jesrin. My heart is full.
  3. Avatar

    PurpleProf Jul 22 2016 @ 18:14

    My husband, Jefforama, needs to get back to FS!!! Ol' "One-Ball" Ernesto....LMAO, ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

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