There once was a boy named Joe

There once was a boy named Joe

Joe married young, lived hard, loved harder, had ten kids, fought a war he didn't believe in and spent decades paying it back in Karma. On his death bed, family gatherered lovingly

in the cramped hospital room to pay their respects to this epitome of manhood. Then Dustin saw it--a hinge behind Joe's ear. He opened it and the family saw the circuit boards of

a commadore 64 tucked into his cranium. This explained Joe's 64 kbyte memory and his tendency to get stuck in endless loops.

Being the $6,000,000 dollar man from the 70s didn't cut it with the modern cyborgs. Most of joints were analog and needed constant oil changes. His telescopic eye wasn't even HD.

And on top of it all, inflation and the housing crisis diminished his $ 6,000,000 to a mere $ 60. Not nearly enough to get an Ipad so he could update his antiquated bionic

man #1 fan website from the comforts of his own bathroom. Nope, now he'd have to keep going down to the local library and waiting for grandpa and a bunch of 6th graders to get off

before he could finally get on the tightly secure library computers with the old, wrinkly, snorting librarian with timid perfume looking over his shoulder the whole time.

She had a nose like a beak, which made sense because the librarian was an owl. When her head was turned 180 degrees around, I took my chance accessing the library computers.

Concentrating hard on my two finger typing, I didn’t notice when she silently swooped in until her beak slammed down on the off button. Dang it! I’m going to take typing lessons!