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In the beginning there was a void and someone

  • In the beginning there was a void and someone shouted out, "Let there be Spam!" So there was and it was good. At least it was when the meat jelly was scraped off. Joe put down his

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  • his fork, sated for now. Spam, scrambled eggs, and Wonder Bread toast was the sort of breakfast that made him glad to be alive. Joe practically danced as he

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  • returned with the dishes to the kitchen, where his tracks stopped dead. His gaze was fixed on an enormous specimen of Blatella asahinai perched atop the unwashed dishes in his sink

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  • so it was true, this was the roach motel. He'd left stacks slop-ridden plates with a galaxies of stains and caked-on greasiness just so he could have this moment with the roach.

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  • He fired up the thorax of the insect and took a deep drag on the roach's head. Coughing horribly on the vile fumes, his eyelids then dropped and the withdrawal tremors subsided. He

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  • went back to work counting the widgets. See, you'd smoke roach heads too if you were a widget counter. After all these years, he still had dreams of donning a blonde wig and

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  • and a pair of high heels, and then leaping onto his work table and breaking out into a loud rendition of "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady." But he knew that if he did, Mr. Grompers would

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  • have him tied to a chair in his underwear, and would recite scripture to him from the Bible. No, there were other ways to turn this evening into something that we could never

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  • remember. Lifting a cloth to his mouth, I politely asked, "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" "Well," he responded, "I'm not too familiar with the scent but-" Falling to the

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  • first floor of the mall, he bounced off the top of the Wetzel's Pretzels, and rolled off into the fountain. So much for his glider working.

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