I bet you're the type of person who skips

  • I bet you're the type of person who skips to the end of a book to see how things turn out.

  • Having already read the end of this story I can tell you that I'm appalled. I hereby refuse to participate. Specifically, the subtly veiled references in folds 6-8 make me want to

  • vomit. But I can't, because I haven't eaten and I know it will only end up being

  • painful." It was apparently time to change, I tried to ask her if we could meet up again but she quickly scooted off. My next blind date was really really

  • something, I tell ya. Vermilion hair the color of the setting sun and skin so pale almost shone blue. She really floored me. I knew that I had to pull out my charm if I wanted any

  • chance of getting to talk to her. She seemed like she was in a hurry - but I was frozen. I could barely speak, let alone put one foot in front of the other. I had to act, though

  • "Sophia!" I managed to choke, finding the strength to start sprinting after her. She turned, and began to walk faster when she saw me. "Go away, Matthew. I told you I never wanted

  • Sea Monkeys." I was distraught. I wept. "They're the next best thing to children!" I cried. Sophia stared at me, her steely grey eyes flashing, and walked away. I raised a hand

  • and waved goodbye as she walked out of my life forever! Wtf... I was a single dad to a brood of needy sea monkeys & there ain't no manual written that's gonna teach you how to love

  • unconditionally. Oh no. I had conditions and plenty of them. My sea monkeys would shape up and ship out as soon as possible. Then I would get myself a brood pouchectomy.



  1. SlimWhitman May 27 2015 @ 12:05

    A girl who spurns sea monkey gifts isn't worth the chase... http://foldingstory.com/4nkjg/

  2. lucielucie May 28 2015 @ 06:20

    Leave brooding a pouch of sea monkeys to the second or third date... is the lesson here I think...

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