Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, Maximus--that

Linus, Cletus, Clement, Sixtus, Maximus--that was the gang back in the day, when we used to go down to the swimmin' hole in backwoods. One day, as we neared the hole's clearing...

Clement and Sixtus challenged Maximus and Cletus to a fight. What it was about, I don't know, some girl or other. Linus and I carried on to the swimmin' hole and when we got back,

a dinosaur appeared.

However, it wasn't really a dinosaur. No, it was Neil Armstrong, coming to beat the Russians right in the

Kremlin's Beer Pong Court. Putin won every game of course. That was because he got first pick for his team of course. But Neil Armstrong had decided to die an alcoholic death

and went on a beer pong rampage. He invented beer pong checking and knocked Putin into Lenin's tomb. The granite rumbled and crumbled onto the embalmed corpse. Who knew it was made

of Caesiumfrankolithicmixialubidiumrixidexidixidoxidroxide! Clever soviet scientists took the secret of Lenin's embalming chemistry to their graves. Unfortunately upon contact with

capitalism, the embalming chemical rapidly decayed. However, enough fluid had seeped into the brain of the former leader to cause him to

Ursula. Nothing like a chtuloid hag to hex polluters & Alaskan crab-fishermen. Together they raised the ebon secrets of the abyss & plunged the walking world into aquatic chaos.