Anna loved Tori, even though Tori was the

Anna loved Tori, even though Tori was the ephemeral sort. Today, she was a prog epic, going on 27-minute tangents about... centaurs? the occult? Anna fell asleep on her mozz sticks

she should have listened to Aunt Valetta,who warned her about attending the Wiccan tea party. But Anna & Tori were curiously flattered when they'd been sent invitations. That's how

the cookie crumbles. Tori and Anna walked right into my Wiccan trap. I'd been drawing pentagrams for months. The sacred space was ready and the ritual knife was very, very, very

...blunt. Crap. I forgot to sharpen the thing; now the ritual sacrifice would be a mess. I shrugged, and knelt down, awaiting their entry into the place of their doom.

Later, I entoned "Oh T'Chon, Great Spider! Accept my ritual sacrifice!" "A spoon? Where's the knife?" "Well, it was a little blunt..." Five eyes winced.

The sixth and seventh eyes wept at the sight of the eighth eye hiding under the chair. I tried to film all eight eyes but the camera was too slow. The eyes moved too fast for thd

the caveman to follow them. Thd was slow, tremendously dense and not in his troglodyte element. He was also afraid of my camera. But the eye under the chair was not. It shone like

a diamond gazing at Thd. He felt watched. I put down my camera & tried to put him at ease with some light Neanderthal banter. I beat my chest, pointed at the eye on the floor, and

danced wildly in my fur loin cloth. He took it as a challenge and rammed his head into mine. I woke a million years later thawed in a history lab. I learned quickly to, "SHUSH!"