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My mouth was raw and I could taste the sharp

  • My mouth was raw and I could taste the sharp tang of iron. Looking around I didn't have a place to spit to see what was going on in there. I popped another hard candy. Last one for

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  • at least a lightyear or three. The things they don't tell you at Starfleet Academy could fill a Meduvian freighter. I shifted in my cramped cockpit. Drat! My mouth was really

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  • tingly, but that's what happens when you have a Caitian's tongue."Senor Lolcat, so glad you arrived!" Captain Pike greeted me. He was the Academy's favorite."I are teknikal suport.

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  • My hometown are Bengal." Captain Pike thought he was speaking my language. But I've always been able to sniff out a Lolcat poser. Real Lolcat's don't ever

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  • use plural for cities on the subcontinent. In Lolcatspeak, the proper expression is "Mah litter iz Tigers town" But Captain Pike's light blinked in his lifesupport trying to elicit

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  • some form of Morse Code. I think it blinked "This is GOD. Bring home toilet paper." But I don't really speak spanish or Morse Code. So I hopped on my Shetland pony, Mr Sprinkles

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  • Translated the Morse Code as "These are the good old days! Go to the store now." So I grabbed my shopping list and bought everything I could get my hands on and carry home.

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  • And I was home but I couldn't remember whether that was true or not. I started and stopped to the realization that I didn't know anything other than that that I was home. Who am I?

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  • Well, I thought, as long as I'm not remembering who I am and don't know whether this was my house...why not rummage around for porn

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  • ? It seemed such an easy solution at the time. Things became complicated, however, when I found I could not remember what porn was. A vegetable? All I knew was that I liked it.

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