When you look at yourself in the mirror and

When you look at yourself in the mirror and see a bag of ass, you think of where you went wrong. Was it my career? My cat? Or maybe just because of that one time at band camp.

You just have to think if there any chance of turning your life around. Maybe for starters, debate on getting a dog.

I know this is bad advice, but try and find someone. While you can't depend on someone for happiness, support is something everyone needs.

Support can also come from a doberman in heels, or a bored Indian man eating leftovers in a call center.

maybe this place isn't actually real at all and the support that I am seeking is simply waking up from the horrible place I have placed myself in, now where does

the poop go after you flush? I pondered. I flushed a gps tracking device down the toilet and followed it to this place, but in some way, I blacked out and I don’t know where I am.

The smell of fish tacos did the trick. I gagged and stumbled across a mile high bridge in pitch blackness. A giant four legged figure approached me and said "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"

With all I’d gone through, I wasn’t about to let a giant 4-legged figure keep me from crossing. So I kicked it right in its giant nut sack. As it doubled up, I crossed. I was FREE!