First it was the email about the unclaimed

  • First it was the email about the unclaimed dog poop. Then came the email about cleaning up the dribble on your own private property. Next came the claim that even a dog unattended

  • during Kwanzaa could be put to death on the spot by any citizen. "Stand Your Ground" had gone too far this time. Oliver summoned his crew of hard, pipe-hitting sysadmins, and

  • told them a cheery story about the Christmas amnesty during WWII. He spiced the tail with hiccups and chest slaps for added extra vigor. Oliver told his crew one really slow

  • story about him dirty dancing at the back of the trenches. The crew initially laughed, but some of them had disgusted looks on their faces. WWll stories were the best stories to

  • tell because you never knew when it would end. That was the thing about WWII, most people didn't know it was still going on. They thought it had ended in 1945. It didn't. It went u

  • ndetected for years. There was something about WWII that made some nations want to continue it. In Sept. ‘45 a huge section of Greenland was roped off for the purpose. Thousands of

  • puffins objected to having Greenland cordoned off to them, even if it meant the eventual demise of all mankind due to a continuance of WWII. They couldn't get to their favorite

  • watering hole--Hillbilly Country, U.S.A.—because it was only open on Saturday night to puffins because the good ole boys were too drunk to want to eat them, so they say. War broke

  • out 99% of the time wherever a puffin was near...and it wasn't a taint's bit of difference in the Wild West. Many a night was wasted in the roudy, dusty saloons quarreling.

  • Funny how the faro dealer never saw a market for selling arguments. Most of these cowboys never get to win an argument. They'd pay for a good argument. Sometimes before the girl.



  1. TarotGuy Dec 05 2019 @ 12:36

    I must give credit where credit is due. In my fold, the idea to rope off a huge section of Greenland as a battlefield was originally suggested by song parodist Allan Sherman (“Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh”) in his hilarious book “The Rape of the A*P*E*.” Sherman stated that ONLY the people in the world who wanted to fight would be parachuted into this roped-off area so they could have all the war they want, leaving the rest of the world to enjoy peace.

  2. SlimWhitman Dec 05 2019 @ 14:32

    Good idea, but why Greenland? Why not Antarctica? I guess Emperor Penguin would have something to say about that.

  3. TarotGuy Dec 06 2019 @ 12:58

    I can only speculate as to why Allan Sherman chose Greenland over Antarctica, Slim. Perhaps he wanted to give the warriors a chance to kill each other before they froze to death.

  4. SlimWhitman Dec 06 2019 @ 17:39

    Good reasoning, a thawt as much.

  5. ValkyrieGrrl Feb 16 2020 @ 16:12

    Overall, a waskily wabbit of a good story!

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