We need your help. I am Nigerian Prince Nyoma-Nyoma-Nyoma.

We need your help. I am Nigerian Prince Nyoma-Nyoma-Nyoma. Me am needing your deposit today! Please send check & pin numbers to me, save deposed Nigerian royalty. Not my sandwich.

Fourteen thousand rupees are in a Thai bank account in the name of your cousin's uncle. Please to receive these special rewards loan me your wife for 24 hours. I promise that she

be treated with love and happyness. You receive access to money after 24hrs and if wife make good help. Best Regards my friend, Mr. Annan." 14000 rupees? I know a good deal when I

get hit in the butt with one! So me an' Johnny hailed a TukTuk. One pulled up, but the driver didn't look too healthy. His face was covered in red spots with green puss oozing out

that got stuck in his beard forming green puss stalactites. So me and Johnny skipped said "no way" but in the back of the Tuk Tuk sat Bill Gates. He said, "I've been waiting

for the two of you. Are you ready to test the prerelease windows mobile game 'Tuk tuks of terror'?" Johnny's finger began to twitch involuntarily as he got into the back to the Tuk

in front of a semi-truck traveling 80 mph. Bob Saget was the driver! But now it was all horribly over. Johnny lay in a bloody heap beside Bob Saget's body, his middle finger now

Resting peacefully inside betty white's left nostril,which,legend has it, is where the Olsen twins first vacationed at the tender age of three. Bob should only be so lucky.

But he wasn't. Bob ended up behind Bob Costa's left eyelid instead. And, well, you see what happened.