On my trip to Jupiter, they put me in suspended

On my trip to Jupiter, they put me in suspended animation. They told me I would sleep for the six year trip. Unfortunately, I was awake the entire time with only my mind as company

to my discomfort. Flashbacks of my previous life on earth haunted me... Thoughts of sunshine, great southern cooking, and fresh air reminded me of the greatness

1920s that had gone soo smoothly before the depression took over

and then

my chute collapsed into a Mae West.

How did I land in the 30s? Mae West looked at me and invited me over, "hey kid, want to drive my new car?" I was speachless as she led me to the parking lot and waited for me to

make some kind of advance, but call me crazy, I didn't find Mae West's plus-size glam and cheap scotch aroma all that enticing. "Kid, you gonna pick your jaw up off the pahking lot

or do you have lockjaw?" Mae West was wearing day glo colors, which told me thiswas NOT the Mae West of my fantacies, this was an impersonator. A poor one because

she didn't even have the trademark Mae West herpes. But yes, I did have lockjaw. "Heerrf hoomf heeef heef," I tried to reply to the Mae West impersonator. "Moomf mumph marph."

Mae West's throaty chortle said what I could not. Then she spoke her most famous words, "When I am good, I am very good. But when I am bad I am better." I now understood.