On my trip to Jupiter, they put me in suspended

  • On my trip to Jupiter, they put me in suspended animation. They told me I would sleep for the six year trip. Unfortunately, I was awake the entire time with only my mind as company

  • to my discomfort. Flashbacks of my previous life on earth haunted me... Thoughts of sunshine, great southern cooking, and fresh air reminded me of the greatness

  • 1920s that had gone soo smoothly before the depression took over

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  • my chute collapsed into a Mae West.

  • How did I land in the 30s? Mae West looked at me and invited me over, "hey kid, want to drive my new car?" I was speachless as she led me to the parking lot and waited for me to

  • make some kind of advance, but call me crazy, I didn't find Mae West's plus-size glam and cheap scotch aroma all that enticing. "Kid, you gonna pick your jaw up off the pahking lot

  • or do you have lockjaw?" Mae West was wearing day glo colors, which told me thiswas NOT the Mae West of my fantacies, this was an impersonator. A poor one because

  • she didn't even have the trademark Mae West herpes. But yes, I did have lockjaw. "Heerrf hoomf heeef heef," I tried to reply to the Mae West impersonator. "Moomf mumph marph."

  • Mae West's throaty chortle said what I could not. Then she spoke her most famous words, "When I am good, I am very good. But when I am bad I am better." I now understood.



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