If I study English, I'll go to USA

If I study English, I'll go to USA

. If I study Japanese, I won't go to Japan because I don't like sushi. I'll go to Jakarta instead and start a Japanese language school. But I won't teach any words linked to sushi.

Sushi is bad and never should have been invented. People eat it because they are masochistic, but they all deny this. Denial is part of the pathological thought processes involved.

These were the thoughts that went through my head as the Japanese medics rushed me to the emergency room after I chomped on a not so carefully prepared slice of fugu.

As the tetrodotoxins coursed through my veins, I lapsed into a dream-like state. The Japanese physician's head looked like a puffer fish, gasping for air. It chanted, "Fugu, fugu!"

I popped the Japanese doctor's head with a golden needle. His head exploded into a bunch of floating Hello Kitty's which started to sing the "Meow Mix" song. I drooled on my

hospital gown as Dr. Nankiama's body frantically searched for another head in a drawer, shoving the singing Hello Kitties out of the way. They hissed at him and hid the head under

The pillow inside the self driving car. Kangaroos were crossing the road and mangled the GPS enough so Rovvie The Robot veered too far on Route 666 only to encounter Satan. Dinner

was on Satan that night. Literally in the form of all the kangaroo vomit he was covered in which was mostly whisky soaked pillow & frito pie they had bought at that faux indian tra