Tim lived in a rundown cinder-block walk-up

Tim lived in a rundown cinder-block walk-up known to most of the adults in Huntsville as "that goddamn eyesore on Maple Street" and to all of the children as "the murder tower."

Now you may know of Huntsville as Rocket City or Moon Town, but to the locals it is known as Haint City, because it is a Hellmouth, more or less, & that walk-up is the front door.

I didn't know it. Over th door a sign read "Huntsville Warm & Cosy Retirement Home". I signed the contract to transfer my worldly possessions & took the lift down to my condomonium

. The lift went down past were I thought my condomonium would be. A voice sounded. I adjusted my hearing. "Welcome to Huntsville Retirement Home & Hunger Games. Prepare Warrior!"

I'd just enough time to pop a single Geritol as the alarms sounded, beginning the deadly competition. Out the metal doors I limped, straining to be the first to reach the antique

carousel music box which contained the key. My competitors stumbled out into the light, blinking furiously in the brightness. Luckily I'd taken my vitamins and had the advantage.

My nemeses (five by then) grumbled and smirked, contorting their freaky faces, mocked me with a boy-band version of "Stop! In the Name of Love" then charged. My Deflecto-Hands

sent out a force field that sent the Five Little Peppers tumbling quickly away from me. By then my Deflecto-Hands were depleted, and the Peppers were re-grouping. I had to think of

a way to repel them. I conjured up 5 Little Onions, which I introduced to the 5 Little Peppers. While they got acquainted, I chopped them up and fried them with steak. Delicious!