I opened my eyes, dazed. My head pounded.

I opened my eyes, dazed. My head pounded. A cop was looking at me, clearly annoyed. "Sir? License and registration. Now." I had no idea who or where I was. I opened the glove box

and found a license & registration laying on a pile of maps. I squinted at the photo before handing it to the officer. It showed a swarthy man with broad mustache. I felt my face,

and said, "Damn, I'm totally wasted!" The officer scowled. He said, "What a disgrace!" And I giggled, "I konw I shouldn't be driving." The Cop said, "No, I mean drinking instead of

puking your guts out all over the road.' I stare at the cop, shocked. He smirks at me. 'It's such a waste. A young girl like you should be all alone tonight, all alone so big daddy

-longleg spiders don't get hurt." He twitched, then "Your boyfriend just stepped on a spider and didn't know it." He pointed a long hairy finger a dead spider on the ground. We

were totally unaware of the personality a spider could have. Unaware that they were really aliens and when we stepped on one we contributed to intergalatic warfare that harmed mo

squitoes. Now do you see why mosquitoes are so aggressive?! Like all intergalactic bug wars, the causes & effects are not not well understood. The alien (but personable) spiders

that thrive on human tears, sucking eye orbitals dry. Using all joke websites and books, many tried to meet secretly daily to embrace humor and avoid sadness. The hardest to cheer

was for these, because internet humor is really only popular with would-be terrorists and neo-nazi bullies. Lacking subtlety in favor of blunt elitism, repetition in perpetuity.