"How did this happen, exactly?" "I'm not
- "How did this happen, exactly?" "I'm not sure, doctor. One minute the candy cane was in my hand, and the next thing I knew, it was stuck in my
- ...well, you know. My A-S-S." Gwendolyn spelled it out because she could not say "ass." Dr. Peabody tried hard not to laugh, but seeing the candy cane sticking out of her ass was
- too much. Gwendolyn ran from the classroom without Dr. Peabody's permission and straight into the women's restroom to get the candy cane out of her A-S-S. In the mirror she saw
- That the candy cane was an elf. It winked and said, "Gwen - I'm a magic candy cane. I can help you get revenge against your tormentors. Just get them to lick me and
- when their tongues touch my sugary coating, they'll succumb to my magical poison, teehee." Gwen nodded at the candy elf, a shy smile playing on her face. Next day on the playground
- the children wondered where was Emily and Todd. Jackie looked down and saw two monstrous shadows approaching the group. She turned around and saw
- two monsters too monstrous to describe in 180 characters. Jackie screamed, and soon they were all running for their lives. Stumbling along after them, the monsters
- conferred on their strategy. "Puny humans hard to pick up with massive crab claw." "Whirly-bird throw ouch stuff at us." "Wait for night, easy pickings?" Jackie hid behind a bin.
- "We go now. Board with nail, ultimate weapon." Jackie's eyes went wide. Now was his chance! In a flash of martial-arts action, Jackie triple-somersaulted and grabbed the board from
- the perp and leaned into him, "Only if you one with board." In another swift motion he bashed the guy on the head with the blunt end, knocking him senseless. Cue victory 70s music.
- Started
- 2014-12-14 15:38:05
- Finished
- 2015-04-30 22:21:49
4 Comments
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KieferSkunk Apr 30 2015 @ 23:12
Heh... the little schoolgirl turned out to secretly be Jackie Chan. :) I could see it.
Chaz May 01 2015 @ 01:36
“I always believed the mind is the best weapon.” - Rambo
SlimWhitman May 01 2015 @ 11:48
@PP: Don't tell me this is based on a true story.
PurpleProf May 01 2015 @ 23:32
Noooooooo.....