It had not been a good idea to eat the three

It had not been a good idea to eat the three day old pizza his roommates left after skipping town without paying the rent. Gordon was sick as a dog when the landlord rang

with an eviction notice in hand. Gordon weakly stood up then said he was sick. In fact he threw up on the eviction notice. "Are you drunk?", the landlord cautiously asked. Gordon

tried to jump on the landlord like a Mario. It ended terrible...

The weight of his boots snapped the landlords neck instantly, and he couldn't resist the urge to add the 8-bit sound effect in as it happened. Then he realized what he had done.

He looked around the hallway making sure there was nobody there to witness his crime. He gingerly stepped over the body of the dead landlord, carful to avoid the boken neck

bearded idiot. Rolando never did have any love for his landlord. He draped a tarp over the dead body and sprinkled cinnamon over it to mask the stench. This practice is known as

The Cinnabon Turnover.

Yes, the Cinnabon Turnover, the very latest in low-impact suicide methods for those "who want to go down slow" (as the song says). Average achievement of death is usually

2 - 5 years, assuming daily consumption and a sedentary lifestyle. But oh it was sweet. And sticky. I closed my eyes for the very last time as I sunk my teeth into my 702nd.