Once upon a time a very independent woman

Once upon a time a very independent woman decided that it was time to get to know a man to share her life with.

She donned a sexy dress, a pair of black high heels and headed to the mirror. Half an hour later with a painted face and bright red lipstick she walked out the front door of her

caravan, and jumped into Leo's pick up truck. He smirked as he looked her up and down. "All dressed up, hey, darlin'?" Damn perv. He was the only one that could drive her to the

Amish beauty pageant without getting pulled over for smoking weed. "The things I do for friendship!" Thought Tabatha as they pulled out of the driveway. This time, she was going to

flaunt her bountiful assets, instead of modestly covering everything up like most contestants. Despite the anxiety of making new enemies, she was going to hike her dress above her

shins. The gameshow MC gasped in shock:"How many times was she kicked there?!" The lead contestant hit his buzzer:"I'm gonna say 33, Mike." The judges panel counted the bruises,

and ruled in favor of the lead contestant, but Marta demanded a re-count, and sure enough, one of the bruises turned out to be a birthmark. "The grand prize of $34 goes to Marta,"

When Marta showed up at the business office to collect her $34 Grand Prize, she was accused of being a thief. That Grand Prize had already been shipped to Marfa, Texas. The lights!

The lottery agency beeded to check Marta's winning $34 ticket. When she pulled it from her purse security arrested her for forging a fake ticket as the money was sent to the winner