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I was sitting on a small chair in an empty

  • I was sitting on a small chair in an empty white room, an abnormally tall man with only a mouth on his face standing before me. "Do you know why you are here?" he asked me.

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  • "Well, gawsh," I muttered. "Something about the jellyfish mishap the other day? Seriously, I thought that's what you're supposed to do..." As a faint whiff of urine rose from his

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  • tuna fish sandwich, he realized that, in his haste to go out the door, he had micturated onto his quotidian comestibles again. The Maker Above only knew what he had done to the

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  • panini machine. Why he never knew how much pressure to apply. This time he wanted a "sizzled" sandwich. He'd pressed hard. He'd also melted his shirt button into a wafer thin disk

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  • . "COOL!" He thought, holding up the melted button, while munching on his sandwich. "I could make jewelery outta this!" He gathered more plastic items to melt in his panini maker.

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  • but then he started to think out of the box. That's the day he met his fate with the toaster. He pushed down the lever and watched the redhot coils, he was mesmerized. That is

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  • until he realized that he was fresh out of pop tarts. Toasters without pop tarts only have one function. He started to fill up the tub with his favorite bubble bath, Mr Bubble's.

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  • Mr. Bubbles sparked a memory of his ex-gf who subsequently became an English professor. Now there is a woman who knew how to blow something other than just bubbles. He picked up

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  • the list he always carried of things she could blow: your mind, a kiss, her top, chunks, it out your ass, the whistle, a fuse, her nose, smoke rings, your house down. Mr. Bubbles

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  • grew weary of the soap opera. His world went down the drain & he with it.

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