Nothing got her hotter than the wild eyes,

Nothing got her hotter than the wild eyes, the tangled hair, the incoherent babbling. For she was a mad scientist groupie. Actually, they prefer to be called "eccentric" scientists

but the maddest ones made her the hottest. Most of the time it was hard to pry them away from their differential equations, but she let them work out coefficients on her back while

she stole their ideas. She was a dunce, but what made her great was her lack of morals. She would steal, cheat, screw, lie anything. No regrets. Ever. She stole their homework and

made them watch as her dog ate paper after paper. Soon enough, her plan was starting to work. Everyone in school had become so desperate that they were actually considering

buy some edible paper, maybe flavored like a good ramen. Yes, a ramen flavored bird with movable wings. But there was still the matter of Vikki.

Vikki was the only woman he knew who could get jealous of food. And if he came home with ramen-flavoured paper, well, he might as well admit to dipping himself in

hair gel, because Vikki would eat that as well. Just not off the hookers like she used too. She had often wondered

who had thought of this molecular cusine foam food dreck. Hundreds of dollars for three test tubes of whipped fish and capers.

And when eaten, the foam caused a telltale brown upper-lip stain we referred to in the lab as a Dirty Sanchez - for obvious reasons.