Anjinsan, downed the ice cold ginger beer

Anjinsan, downed the ice cold ginger beer and belched. He saw a movement behind the Fusuma and quietly grasped the hilt of his wakizashi.

Some Japanese girls in the corner giggled behind their hand. Anjinsan thought, fuck the shogun tonight, how about some R&R. When he got close to them he noticed their accents were

completely insincere. Indeed, they had distinctly American accents, not Japanese as he had thought. What could be the motive for this crime? Anjinsan

thought that the Americans were pretending to be Japanese citizens as a result of losing a bet on the women's world cup. But Anjinsan discovered that Mr. Roboto was to blame for

Steven Seagal being hired for the 3D remake of Shogun, in the role of a Portuguese priest and part-time trainwrecker. Baseball, golf, tea, beer, these are the important

things to neglect, because they aren't important. Steve Seagull studied in Portugal (the non-smelly area) to wreck trains & give out communion wafers (or Cheez-its) for the movie.

Not that Steve Seagull needed to study. He knew haw to wreck trains and, well, Cheez-its were too good to give away. No, he ate them all and sauntered onto the set with a train in

hand, determined to get things on the right track once & for all, so to speak. Steve Seagull was a problem-solver, alright. In no time, the train began rolling once again toward

law", the creature whispered, afraid of drawing the attention of the attackers. He shoved the door closed, and Mr. Seagull was grabbed by sharp claws that dragged him to his death.