The realization almost cracked Dan Brown's

The realization almost cracked Dan Brown's head. There it was staring him in the face. The ultimate Catholic Conspiracy. "Popeyes" was really, "Pope Yes." Holy smokes!

and the spinach he ate was really communion wafers. Popeye's arch nemesis Pluto was the Prince of the Underworld. Dan Brown, worked feverishly on his conspiracy film "POPE eye

the Savior Man." The conspiracy is that Lent's meat restrictions were put in place by Wimpy so he could hog all hamburgers. Tom Hanks received forearm implants to play POPE eye and

Roseanne Barr, for obvious reasons, was chosen for the part of Olive Oyl. Now, Wimpy's religious influence extended far beyond dietary restraints (clearly) which is why we found

ourselves watching a documentary on Wimpy's influence on 24th century death ceremonies. But only 27 hours in, the audience began to show signs of fatigue and the crowd was sprayed

with butter and shoveled into the theatre popcorn machine for the next showing. Wimpy's documentary sucked. That's what they get for not listening. Pop, pop...the next

batch had been shipped out into the candy store just as the movie reached intermission time. "Pop!" The guard murmured, in time with the orchestra of the popcorn machine before him

A natassia kinski lookalike greeted everyone. She looked the same.

.. the same, but not quite. She was more plumper now than I remembered her, but her facial features remained a youthful glow despite everything that had happened

and although it was something I never would have expected in this lifetime or any other, when Mrs. Emma Peel offered to kiss me, I gave my ready and more than willing assent.