Dearest Caleb, [enter][tab] Missionary work

Dearest Caleb, [enter][tab] Missionary work blows. The natives of Heekum Holkum won't stop poking my laptop. It's like they've never seen a non-touch screen before. I prayed for

the spirit of JAHBADOO to curse this MISSIONARY! [delete] [delete] of God to help these heathens. I wish they would stop playing with the keyboard. Please send more SACRIF

ICIAL goats we are running low [Alt] on expendable beasts. [Caps Lock] Never in all my days have I been so in need of a blood sacrifice to appease the wrath of the gods who seem to

[italics] enjoy our suffering. I rifled my shoe collection & gave the pointiest pair as a burnt offering [exclamation mark] This made God wake up & smell the coffee [end of story]

[Ragtime piano music] And now for a brief word from our sponsor, Parter of the Red Sea, decked out in tablets{subliminally flash ipad} and snakey staff{

All part of Hollywood magick, need I say} … Jesus blessed the rabbits on the as part of his ministry. Al Jourgenson helped construct an industrial monument to the art of noise.

Things settled down after that and Al had that operation he'd been putting off for too long. He died on the table but they found that transistor radio he'd eaten as a kid. It came

out of dead Al’s torso. The surgeon turned the on/off/vol wheel & it fired up right away. “Those radios were built to last,” said the anesthetist, who tapped his foot to the music.

from his corpse, singing "Don't Fear the Reaper"and the staff was so moved that they ran to him, and they took his hands, and they became as he was, and they had no fear. Rock on!