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Since the ice storm is going 2hit,I grabbed

  • Since the ice storm is going 2hit,I grabbed my grocery list and went 2 the store. The list was torn &wet, so I did my best to read it. OhMan. 1. Thumbtax, or was it Tampax?

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  • When in doubt get both! Since white death is on the way, buy in bulk. After Thumbtacks and Tampax. The torn list said cond. Was it condoms or condiments. Get both! Mayo was on sale

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  • so, I grabbed a few jars of that as I made my way to the booze. Everyone seems to want milk and bread, but to me its the booze that is important. How can you possibly survive

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  • without the sweet necessities of alcohol. When I reached the bar, though, I saw the zombies had overrun the place. I tried to fire my gun, but it jammed; I cursed and grabbed a

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  • fireax off the wall. I began smashing zombie skulls and didn't stop until the bar was cleared of them. Panting, I leaned back against the bar. "Ahh, now where's the Grey Goose?"

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  • "Uh, in the back, sir. But I wouldn't-" I pushed him aside, disregarding his warning. The Grey Goose's... goose was cooked. I gripped my fire axe tighter as I opened the door and

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  • there witnessed the disgusting mating ritual of the panda camel hybrid. I raised my axe to end this unholy union. These creatures had been created in my laboratory but now

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  • they were meeting on JDate.com. I brought my axe down and heard a wet thump. Blood, guts, viscera splattered like lasagna in a turbo jet engine. But the PandaCamel would not

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  • go down. It loped around the enclosure grasping at bamboo straws, and finally stumbled over it's three severed lumps and great panda head falling in a heap. PandaCamel tastes a lot

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  • like chicken. Would you like to try some? No? Here, just a nibble. Open wide! It 's a delicacy in Tibet.

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