"There's fold in them thar hills!" The whiskery

"There's fold in them thar hills!" The whiskery stranger pointed west and scuttled away.

"Those! You mean those hills!?" I yelled at the random ferret faced redneck, as he hurried away into the distance. I gazed up at the hills, wandering what could be up there.

I wandered a lot. In the town Wigampucket I was known as the "Wandering Fool" or "Phil." The calluses on my feet had broken through my shoes.

I traveled & taught how to lift your right foot and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing that, draw the number 6 in the air with your right hand. Can't do it, can you? I, Phil

the Phabulous, can train you, for free! Just find me on my website, phabulosity dot orgasm! Contact me there! Okay, bye boys! Muahh! The commercial ended, thankfully, and I turned

back to my computer and let the TV fill in the background noise. I was intrigued by the ads' claim to "train you for free." Not much for free these days. I might be phabulous at

effecting femininity, but to be trained to actually BE a woman?? Skepticism battled my curiosity, as one feeling emerged triumphant:

Three years later, this was a ubiquitous question. It was all the more puzzling as well. The world had turned upside down. No other words for it.

I was screwed, because I could not think straight any more. Maybe the answer was to think backwards. ?that do to I was how buT