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All's fair in love and war.

  • All's fair in love and war.

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  • Napoleon didn't even giggle as he whispered the words and got dressed. He had just conquered Iberia on Friday... and me, last night. I stayed in bed watching the fires outside

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  • burning amid the cries of the dying. While Napoleon's knee was in my back as he was pulling on my corset laces, I was purloining the plans for the battle of Solferino from his hat!

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  • But my lovemaking so pleased Napoleon that he refused to let me leave my bed let alone the palace. So the plans and I were stuck in the palace the eve of The Battle of Solferino.

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  • My rudimentary skills at steganography were severely tested but eventually the plans reached their destination but too late to change the outcome. The Kennedys would still die.

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  • Stenography was a lost art but I had learned it as a kid. My mum was a stenographer and loved to write things down so no one could read them but other stenographers. Her journals

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  • were filled with scathing remarks about people who could not read stenography. After she died it was translated and everyone was so mad that they exhumed her and killed her again.

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  • And in a move considered by some to be in bad taste, they deboned her corpse, scraping every bit of flesh, and had it minced into a fine slurry. A three-starred Michelin chef was

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  • quoted as calling it "a shining example of culinary artistry, a wonder, a delight" and the whole thing received a 3-page spread in the entertainment section of the Daily Mail.

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  • We were the toast of the town. Even my in-laws started looking at me in a way that verged on pride.

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4 Comments

  1. Woab Feb 20 2018 @ 12:26

    Are you sure it was pride, Shortfellow? Maybe they were just hungry.

  2. LordVacuity Feb 20 2018 @ 13:04

    Three years and change later, their pride or hunger saw the light of day.

  3. LordVacuity Feb 20 2018 @ 13:09

    So seinundzeit’s sacrifice to the carnal ministrations of an overreaching Corsican were for naught? The Kennedys still died to cement Nostradamus’s reputation.

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